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Thursday, November 7, 2024

Safe Spaces

Carving Out Safe Spaces In Interpersonal Relations



I’ve been reflecting on how interpersonal relationships deeply influence our ability to impact our overall well-being.

The people we surround ourselves with—whether friends, family, or colleagues—have the power to either uplift and expand us, or drain our energy. 


Over time, we learn that it’s often necessary to share some of our energy with others especially in spaces like work or within close-knit relationships. 


However, it’s crucial to be mindful of how we feel after spending time with certain people. 


Are we energised, at peace, and feel aligned? Or do we feel drained, anxious, or out of balance? 


This is where discernment comes in being aware of our emotional and energetic responses to interactions is key to protecting our wellbeing and knowing when to set boundaries or adjust our energy investment. 


Awareness of how relationships impact us, and trusting our inner sense of balance, is vital for cultivating healthy, supportive connections.


The energy and emotional tone of our interactions are powerful indicators of whether a relationship or group is healthy for us.


If you consistently feel nervous, on edge, or like you have to perform in a relationship, or if you leave interactions feeling depleted rather than uplifted, it may not be a safe or healthy space for you. While not every encounter will be perfect, it shouldn't consistently drain your energy. 


Another way to gauge the safety of a relationship is by considering how you feel in different settings—whether alone, in a group, or in various situations. 


Healthy relationships maintain boundaries, respect privacy, and allow you to feel supported and at ease. Ultimately, relationships should nurture and empower, not deplete or cause anxiety.


Healthy relationships should be built on mutual respect, where both people can be their authentic selves without fear of judgment or the need to "shapeshift." 


Emotional labor should be balanced—both partners should contribute support and empathy, not just actions. 


Healthy relationships are about growth and celebration, not competition or undermining each other. If one person feels drained, unsupported, or put down, it’s a sign that the relationship may need adjustment to foster balance and respect.


In healthy relationships, authenticity, mutual respect, and support are key. If you’re constantly changing to please someone, it’s either because they’re not accepting you as you are or you’re not comfortable being yourself. 


Emotional labor must be balanced, with both parties sharing the load. It’s natural for one person to go through struggles while the other is thriving, but the key is supporting each other during those times. If someone only reaches out when they need something, it’s important to address the imbalance or reassess how much energy you invest in the relationship.



Healthy relationships, whether romantic or not, require mutual respect, trust, and the protection of privacy. If your boundaries are respected, it shows that your essence is valued. Sharing intimate details should come with the expectation of confidentiality. If someone oversteps that boundary, it’s a sign that trust has been broken. 

Maintaining a close circle of people who support and respect you, and whom you can also support, is essential for personal growth and wellness. Ultimately, respect, unconditional love, and balance are the foundation of thriving, meaningful relationships.


Asking if your relationships feel safe isn't enough, we must ask ourselves if we too, make others feel safe.


Love and Light always,

Umi.





Versions




In a moment of profound self-reflection, honouring the different versions of myself that have shaped who I am today.


Every choice I’ve made,  every decision that felt uncertain at the time, has contributed to the wisdom I carry now.

I’ve journeyed through many phases of growth, each one adding depth and understanding to my identity. 


In some ways, I’ve been many people in one lifetime—and that’s something I'm proud of. Each version of me, whether it was a version of hope, doubt, strength, or transformation, has served a purpose. And now, looking back, I can see how each part of my story was necessary for the person I am becoming.


I honour that and in doing so, I honor my capacity to evolve. It’s a reminder that I’m never stuck—just always in the process of becoming, continuously shedding layers and uncovering new possibilities. 


I stand as a testament to my own resilience and growth, fully embracing both my past and my future.


While reflecting with gratitude on my journey, acknowledging how past versions of myself made choices based on the knowledge I had, and how I’m now making decisions with the wisdom I’ve gained. 


I smile as I revisit my blog which started 15 years ago during a restless night as a teenager. While reading my old posts, I briefly felt the urge to perfect them but chose to leave them as they are, recognizing they reflect a different version of me. 


This moment symbolizes my gradual shift away from perfectionism, a trait I’ve held for much of my life. I’m learning to embrace imperfection, knowing that my future self will be shaped by the decisions I make now, and that each version of me, past and present, is a valuable part of my journey.



Coming back to this blog makes me realize my soul has always been on this journey, guiding me in ways that defy logic or reason. Allowing myself to trust the path even when it didn’t make sense at the time. Trusting myself and my inner wisdom always returning to self.


Reading these past posts across different stages of my life—teenager, 20s, and now my 30s—has shown me just how much I’ve grown. It’s not just the evolution of my thoughts or experiences, but the *becoming* of who I truly am. Each version of me shedding what no longer serves, creating space for a more authentic, expansive version of myself. Each chapter better than the last, and more aligned with the real me. That’s something I’m truly proud of, regardless of the obstacles.


This blog reminds me of the emotional landscape of my journey. There’s so much richness in keeping this blog going, as it holds the essence of who I’ve been and continues to witness who I’m becoming. It’s a living archive of my soul’s growth, and the decision to keep posting here is a way to honor the continuity of my evolution.


It’s a reminder that, even in moments of change, there’s something deeply grounding about staying connected to my roots. This blog isn’t just a collection of past thoughts—it’s a place where I return to myself again and again, finding peace in the ongoing process of becoming.


I reflect on my journey with deep acceptance, feeling no regrets about the choices I’ve made. I walk my path with joy, authenticity, and gratitude for everyone and everything that has shaped my growth, whether through pleasant or challenging experiences. 


I stay rooted and maintain an unshakable belief in myself. Embracing the process of release, relearning, and unlearning, I continue to move forward with grace, undeterred by anything that comes my way.


I lovingly remind anyone reading this to stay rooted and authentic to self as you evolve and to release what no longer serves, to unlearn what limits you, and to trust in the unshakable belief in yourself. 


To walk in integrity, strength and grace.To be unapologetically YOU.



Love and Light always,

Umi.