Change The Conversation

So.. Its 12:49am and I am not sleeping. Although I am very sleepy but I cant even go to sleep. I woke up today at 4:00 am and since then only had a 15 min nap. I am sooo Exhausted, cranky, and very sleepy. And every time i close my eyes I seem to hear the clock ticking in the living room far away from my bedroom. And the crickets and other bugs seem so loud today. To make things worse, I have no idea who is calling me at almost one in the morning, the callers number remains "withheld" and i am very sure it is somebody from Nigeria who has forgotten to check the time to realize its midnight here! Though Tempted to turn the phones ringer off I really cant just in case Someone calls me with an emergency. But in the meantime I guess I have to deal with the constant ringing. 1:00am.. I have been snacking on cookies and drinking Cold Lemonade. I know I should turn the TV on and watch recaps of shows I have missed until I sleep off but the TV doesn't really bother me ...

    I love all kinds of Aesthetics especially ancient arts. Sometimes i feel i should be in a destroyed city which existed thousands of years and has recently been found. Just digging up old beautiful crafted things..or mummies.lol Aesthetics can be percieved in different ways to people. What i feel is beautiful might not be to you or intresting. Two years ago i would never have thought i was into art especially the so not called "modern" arts. I appreciate anything that people take time to make, Put thought, meaning, and importance to create. Anyway I did a project on the Aztecs last semester and i was amazed. Because usually we only see "modern" paintings, carvings, figures, etc. And unfortunately some arts that are really facinating and intriguing are looked at as ugly or non modern. The aztecs are precolumbian mesoamerican people of central mexico. Some say they dont exist anymore while some say there are few of them left. Whichever is true only fact is there a...

  I was watching a video someone posted on facebook of two grown ploiticians arguing at a hearing concentrating on "Corruption". Everything was going fine until a man started shouting 'Thief'! "Thief"! at the woman who was being interogated. One thing led to another and alas, two men started fighting. I wonder how they felt after that adrenaline rush. I must admit they were quite strong and fit considering they were old men. Anyway as if that was not exhausting to watch I watched other related links, and behold I saw Nigerian witch children. The name alone was intresting and scary, because I have never known anybody who is a witch or practices witchcraft. Besides my family condemns and stays away from anything that is or might be "evil". My curiosity got the best of me and I started watching the videos.I was expecting to see children dissapearing and appearing or doing something out of the blue, or something we all dont normally see. Frankly the on...

Breathe     And you keep running away from all the fears that you can’t hide, And through the pain you feel inside and the tears you’ve cried tonight. Cause you gotta breathe it in, when you feel so alone, You gotta breathe again; until the pain is gone…you gotta breathe. Breathe... Every night you close your eyes Hoping for a better tomorrow You know deep inside all you need is an opportunity And you will conquer every obstacle in front of u But tomorrow comes And you stuck with the same routine Of not knowing where or how to start Making your dreams come true You too stressed and confused to think things through Your dreams keep you warm at night And at day you see them clearly U keep thinking of what or who u’ve lost Can’t help but think of how things will always be the same Cause Every time you take a step forward u seem to take 3 steps back And life is just black and white to you And you stuck with the same routine Of not knowing where or how to st...

Yes I know what love is Or at least I like to think I know They say if you love someone their happiness is what you want But what if their happiness isn’t with you? Are you supposed to still be happy for them? Because them not being happy around you won’t make you happy In fact that’s quite depressing. But what if their happiness lies with another woman or man That will only be fair to let them be happy But dumb to still pretend when you not Unless…their happiness isn’t what you are truly after..right? So yes I will pretend to be happy for you While you are with another woman/ man I will pretend that woman/man is a better person to you than me I shall smile when I see you And act like all is well When deep down my world is crashing Just knowing what makes me truly happy is in pursuit of their own happiness Other than me… Oh yes I will try and understand that while I want you to be happy I will let my own happiness which is you drift away from me to someone else Aft...

Hello and bye seem to be taken for granted We see each other and say hello without really caring Or say bye absent mindedly Even go out of our way to ask the civil “how are you” or “what’s up” When the only thing we want to hear is what they have been up to Or see what they are wearing Sometimes even thinking of something random while they are talking to us Forgetting that might be the first or last time we talk to them Check out what they are wearing,or even hear what they have been up to Well truth is nobody knows the future So next time when you say hello try to really mean it Yes not everyone in your life matters Unless it’s the last time you said hello, bye or see you later Then they start to matter to you Because that will be the last time you saw them Checked them out or find out what they are up to Why wait till It’s too late

It used to be just you and me Nothing else mattered but our world I could stare into your eyes all day and see love You could stare into mine and see love I could kiss you all day And you could hold me all day if I let you I would smile when I realize I’m in your arms And I will find you staring at me early at dawn Now I stare into your eyes and I see ignorance If you did stare into mine you will see fear and sadness But you will never know for you never look at me I could still kiss you all day, but you never let me Your hold that I yearn has become so distant And when I’m in your arms, I become a burden to you The more I reach out to you the more you push me away I don’t want to remember us like this I know we will never get back to what we were I honestly don’t think I want to get back to what we were because there never was I’m finally letting you be by self in peace

When you think of the word “Masculinity” you think of macho, strong, tall, big, protector, individualism etc. Media has played an important role in creating images that have shifted the gender terrain. And if a man does not possess these traits his considered weak. Masculinity is simply a mask worn by men to shield their vulnerabilities and hide their humanity. I’m not saying men are as soft and gentle as women. Even though some men have feminist traits in them. These men are considered “gay” “weird” and “queer” in our society. In layman terms they are weird and odd. Men were raised to be tough, independent, head of family decision makers & strong bread winners. Never to show emotion in public and never to cry! Even though emotions and crying is only crying..and you have to let it out if you need to. After all it cleanses one’s mind. I’m wondering where this leaves women who are tough, independent, decision making- breadwinners?   Will they be considered masculine? Or just hard...