Insomnia..

So..

Its 12:49am and I am not sleeping. Although I am very sleepy but I cant even go to sleep.

I woke up today at 4:00 am and since then only had a 15 min nap. I am sooo Exhausted, cranky, and very sleepy. And every time i close my eyes I seem to hear the clock ticking in the living room far away from my bedroom. And the crickets and other bugs seem so loud today.

To make things worse, I have no idea who is calling me at almost one in the morning, the callers number remains "withheld" and i am very sure it is somebody from Nigeria who has forgotten to check the time to realize its midnight here! Though Tempted to turn the phones ringer off I really cant just in case Someone calls me with an emergency. But in the meantime I guess I have to deal with the constant ringing.

1:00am..

I have been snacking on cookies and drinking Cold Lemonade. I know I should turn the TV on and watch recaps of shows I have missed until I sleep off but the TV doesn't really bother me anymore. I cant be Bugged about crazy reality shows at this time of the day. Thankfully I am talking to my friend Sadiq who is gisting me about his high school and Explaining to my why planes don't fly east of Asia to get to the U.S instead of going all the way through Europe. Because it does not really make sense why anyone flying from China or Japan flies across the world instead of going east. So Sadiq if You are reading this thank you for explaining a curiosity
I had for years. :)

1:13am

My sight is getting really blury So I am off to bed hoping To the Dear Lord that I will be fast asleep clutching my green fuzzy pillow that I am soo deeply attached to. If I dont sleep it I practically cant have a good night. Kindda Creepy. Night Night World!

Aztec Calender Aka The Sun Stone

 

 

I love all kinds of Aesthetics especially ancient arts. Sometimes i feel i should be in a destroyed city which existed thousands of years and has recently been found. Just digging up old beautiful crafted things..or mummies.lol

Aesthetics can be percieved in different ways to people. What i feel is beautiful might not be to you or intresting. Two years ago i would never have thought i was into art especially the so not called "modern" arts. I appreciate anything that people take time to make, Put thought, meaning, and importance to create.

Anyway I did a project on the Aztecs last semester and i was amazed. Because usually we only see "modern" paintings, carvings, figures, etc. And unfortunately some arts that are really facinating and intriguing are looked at as ugly or non modern.

The aztecs are precolumbian mesoamerican people of central mexico. Some say they dont exist anymore while some say there are few of them left. Whichever is true only fact is there are lots of Aztec arts found till this day from ruined ruines, and the remains of a city has actually been found too. Of all the crafts and carvings i have seen of the aztecs i loved the sun stone immediately i saw it because of not only the bright colors but also the little symbols and animals you will see if you look closely.

So the aztecs use this stone to measure days, months and years. There are so many animals and symbols on the stone that represent a lot of things. The aztecs actually see eagles, snakes and jaguars as the most important animals. Reason its called the sun stone is because if you look really closely at the stone there is a face in the middle. He is the sun god. He provides food and sunshine to the aztecs and according to the aztecs the world. They sacrifice slaves and prisoners on the stone and put the sacrifised persons heart on the face of the sun god. They believe if they dont feed and pray to the sun god he wont provide sunshine which is important in harvesting corn. Corn is a very important factor among the aztecs. They eat millet and make millet beer which comes from the corn.

I have to stop myself here because I can go on and on and this is not an essay..lol. Hope u enjoyed learning something new and if you will like to learn more about the aztecs and the aztec calender please visit

http://www.azteccalender.com/

Enjoy!

 

I was watching a video someone posted on facebook of two grown ploiticians arguing at a hearing concentrating on "Corruption". Everything was going fine until a man started shouting 'Thief'! "Thief"! at the woman who was being interogated. One thing led to another and alas, two men started fighting. I wonder how they felt after that adrenaline rush. I must admit they were quite strong and fit considering they were old men. Anyway as if that was not exhausting to watch I watched other related links, and behold I saw Nigerian witch children. The name alone was intresting and scary, because I have never known anybody who is a witch or practices witchcraft. Besides my family condemns and stays away from anything that is or might be "evil". My curiosity got the best of me and I started watching the videos.I was expecting to see children dissapearing and appearing or doing something out of the blue, or something we all dont normally see. Frankly the only familar thing i know about witchcraft and wizadry is from Harry Potter. *Ahhh*

I was expecting a scene while a large circle filled with people stood watching. Thats what usally happens in Africa when something happens. But instead I saw a bunch of kids and young adults,rather hungry looking, battered, bruised, abused, unhappy looking, weak, the list goes on and on. Their parents or relatives either left them to die or sent them out of the house because they were "witches". Oh and if you are wondering how theier parents came to the conclusion that they were witches or supernatural? Thier local pastors told them that. I guess they have gifts of knowing who is a witch and wether they should be killed or not.

I personally think this is a bizarre and insane action.This kids are beaten up,cursed and shooed away because they do not matter to the community.

Some parents put nails in their childrens head, and some poured hot water or acid on them.Some tied them up and left them to die.This kids have gone through unimaginable things that I have never thought off in my life.Meanwhile the pastor is moving around and preaching. Preaching about how God wants us all to love one another . Yeah right! This is a very unique type of love I tell you. Lets asume withcraft does "exist", should this kids really go through what they went through? Do they deserve it? Do they deserve being isolated from other kids, family and human being just because they are witches? No human being or living things should be handled the way this kids were. Even if they have done really mean or evil things to people, which there aren't any record of. And even if they did mean things what happened to spanking? Or other types of punishment. But I am guessing these "pastors" decide on who should be eliminated and who should not. I honestly think they should be treated equally. Same with mental disabled people. I dont want to sound horrible here but they are challenged. Does that mean they should be deserted and killed?

With all these it all comes down to beliefs. Some people are ignorant and they do not know any better so you wouldnt really blame them, others just believe in fetish things like witchcraft, and they imply them in their daily life expample, when someone dies it has to be somebody who killed them. Or just a normal head or stomach ache has be related to somebody who they had a feud with. I respect peoples opinions and i will never look down on what people worship, or believe in. But when what people believe in hurts others,that has to be questioned. And some of these people just tie such unimaginable things to religion.

Some pastors have been arrested due to this unethical stuff. But I really hope the government sets a Law that protects all kinds of child abuse and "witchcrafts". It is obvious nobody can change a persons opinion but atleast we can try to stop such events from happening. If people choose to believe in what they believe in such as witchcraft, they are free to so so, as long as they dont harm anybody while doing so.

*frustrated* i want to see more of this people go to jail! And Please, can the government or community atleast provide shelter, food, and blankets for this homeless children. This is infact one of the sadest things I have ever watched and seen in my life. This has nothing to do with any christian bliblical teachings!

P.S--> I do not have any problems with any religion or beliefs. But when your beliefs hurt other people You have crossed the line.

God Bless this kids souls and I hope this group of people or anybody who does this kind of horrible things have a change of heart.

The link to the video on youtube--> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZVVbGEOoCM

And for the record this does not only happen in Nigeria. its a World Wide thing

Breathe

Breathe

 

 

And you keep running away from all the fears that you can’t hide,
And through the pain you feel inside and the tears you’ve cried tonight.
Cause you gotta breathe it in, when you feel so alone,
You gotta breathe again; until the pain is gone…you gotta breathe.
Breathe...

Every night you close your eyes
Hoping for a better tomorrow
You know deep inside all you need is an opportunity
And you will conquer every obstacle in front of u
But tomorrow comes
And you stuck with the same routine
Of not knowing where or how to start
Making your dreams come true
You too stressed and confused to think things through

Your dreams keep you warm at night
And at day you see them clearly
U keep thinking of what or who u’ve lost
Can’t help but think of how things will always be the same
Cause Every time you take a step forward u seem to take 3 steps back
And life is just black and white to you
And you stuck with the same routine
Of not knowing where or how to start
Making your dreams come true
You too stressed and confused to think things through

And you keep running away from all the fears that you can’t hide,
And through the pain you feel inside and the tears you’ve cried tonight.
Cause you gotta breathe it in, when you feel so alone,
You gotta breathe again; until the pain is gone…you gotta breathe.
Breathe...

................................................

Yes I know what love is
Or at least I like to think I know
They say if you love someone their happiness is what you want
But what if their happiness isn’t with you?
Are you supposed to still be happy for them?
Because them not being happy around you won’t make you happy
In fact that’s quite depressing.
But what if their happiness lies with another woman or man
That will only be fair to let them be happy
But dumb to still pretend when you not
Unless…their happiness isn’t what you are truly after..right?
So yes I will pretend to be happy for you
While you are with another woman/ man
I will pretend that woman/man is a better person to you than me
I shall smile when I see you
And act like all is well
When deep down my world is crashing
Just knowing what makes me truly happy is in pursuit of their own happiness
Other than me…
Oh yes I will try and understand that while I want you to be happy
I will let my own happiness which is you drift away from me to someone else
After all since I want you to be happy
And you after something else that you don’t find in me, unless..
You don’t really care about my own happiness..
Which is you

Hello & Bye

Hello and bye seem to be taken for granted
We see each other and say hello without really caring
Or say bye absent mindedly
Even go out of our way to ask the civil “how are you” or “what’s up”
When the only thing we want to hear is what they have been up to
Or see what they are wearing
Sometimes even thinking of something random while they are talking to us
Forgetting that might be the first or last time we talk to them
Check out what they are wearing,or even hear what they have been up to
Well truth is nobody knows the future
So next time when you say hello try to really mean it
Yes not everyone in your life matters
Unless it’s the last time you said hello, bye or see you later
Then they start to matter to you
Because that will be the last time you saw them
Checked them out or find out what they are up to
Why wait till It’s too late

Letting Go

It used to be just you and me
Nothing else mattered but our world
I could stare into your eyes all day and see love
You could stare into mine and see love
I could kiss you all day
And you could hold me all day if I let you
I would smile when I realize I’m in your arms
And I will find you staring at me early at dawn
Now I stare into your eyes and I see ignorance
If you did stare into mine you will see fear and sadness
But you will never know for you never look at me
I could still kiss you all day, but you never let me
Your hold that I yearn has become so distant
And when I’m in your arms, I become a burden to you
The more I reach out to you the more you push me away
I don’t want to remember us like this
I know we will never get back to what we were
I honestly don’t think I want to get back to what we were because there never was
I’m finally letting you be by self in peace

Masculinity- My theory on Masculinity

When you think of the word “Masculinity” you think of macho, strong, tall, big, protector, individualism etc. Media has played an important role in creating images that have shifted the gender terrain. And if a man does not possess these traits his considered weak. Masculinity is simply a mask worn by men to shield their vulnerabilities and hide their humanity. I’m not saying men are as soft and gentle as women. Even though some men have feminist traits in them. These men are considered “gay” “weird” and “queer” in our society. In layman terms they are weird and odd. Men were raised to be tough, independent, head of family decision makers & strong bread winners. Never to show emotion in public and never to cry! Even though emotions and crying is only crying..and you have to let it out if you need to. After all it cleanses one’s mind. I’m wondering where this leaves women who are tough, independent, decision making- breadwinners?  Will they be considered masculine? Or just hardworking females.

Obviously the male structure was designed to be bigger than the female structure. But are all men tall? Huge? Tough? And individualistic? And since some do not fit into this characteristics does it mean they are not “real men”. Again this is where “Masculinity is simply a mask worn by men to shield their vulnerabilities and hide their humanity” comes in play. If most men will take off that mask and be in their natural state they will actually be vulnerable, and humane. Again I’m not saying men are weak, I’m saying that fake mask that is worn is only to make them fit into the “social order” so they are considered normal and not queer.

During war times when men had to leave to go for war the women took over their jobs and did a pretty darn good job at handling businesses, and at the same time taking care of the household, family and children. Does this make them masculine? Because they did everything a man could do. I’m not even going to go into women looked down on because I believe there is nothing like that. Some research showed than men have been de-centered and threatened by women’s increased assertion of strength, integrity, social and economic power which led to the escalation of violence against women. And now there is the presence of egalitarian relationships with women. Men have women as friends, lovers, classmates, colleagues, wives or fellow workers. Women have more flexibility in terms of gender role..but men have to fit in a box, a box that forces them to be who they are not 100%.

So many times I’ve seen men want to cry, but cant because they will be considered weak. Most times they hide or cry in isolation. A lot of men think wearing soft colors like pink, or purple makes them look more like a woman. They dare not even go near soft colors so they stick to red, and black. Although I think generally men prefer red and black. Ask most men to wear pink or purple and see their reaction. Their problem is not that they don’t like it’s more like they are avoiding what people will say or think about them. Even though they wear things they don’t like, anything soft it not an option.

What do you think? What are your opinions?

And again this are my thoughts backed up by Katz jack theory